Thus I Wrote

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, when I thought the wrong thoughts
I drink too much, and disguised by mirth
I say the wrong things, and you get hurt
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

My glass is half empty, because I’m afraid
It makes me negative, and aloof you said
I don’t laugh enough, and I’m not much fun
I’m feeding the elephant when I should make it run
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I hit a brick wall, then I shut you out
I wait to stop hurting, I don’t trust my mouth
I create a silence, I won’t let it go
I’m frozen by hurt, but I won’t let it show
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I’ve drawn a battle line, between us in the sand
One of us must cross it, but I’m powerless to command
As we wait for each other, it becomes stalemate
It needs a big person, to change this state
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

My emotions, they are dark, too dark for me to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
My dark, inner child, lashes out when afraid
My wise, mature counsel, is drowned in my head
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself