Thus I Wrote

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, while thinking wrong thoughts
I drank too much, and disguised by mirth
Said careless words, and you, got hurt

After we argue, I often shut you out
I waited to calm down, I wouldn’t trust my mouth
I made a silence & I wouldn’t let it go
I made you lonely, and I wish, it wasn’t so.

I spend too much time, living in my head
It makes me negative, and aloof, you said
I need more heart, and I need more fun
I feed the elephant, when I, should make it run

My emotions are dark, too dark for me to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
They lash out when things don’t go my way
My wise counsel, is drowned, inside my head.

I’ve seen a love, that’s as warm as the sun
It touched the heart and the soul of everyone
A graceful self that was clear to its shine
An inspiration, but I’m so, far behind

I know I’m blind so I can’t see
That I’m a prisoner so I’m not free
That a change now must surely come
That if I conquer myself, I will be done

Picture by Piotr Antonow