Thus I Wrote

I can see the fire burning
But the warmth’s buried behind
It’s buried deep inside her house
Deep inside her mind
I’ve knocked gently on the door
But she won’t let me in
She doesn’t feel safe
She has rituals that begin
She’s a butterfly
Afraid of being hurt
I see the flicker in her eyes…
In the corner of her mouth…

There’s a memory of intimacy
In my heart and head
Years of laughing and trust
Once vibrant now dead
We gave of ourselves
Truly, deeply, madly
I ache for that love
I ache for that so badly
But I can’t short-circuit
Or jump-start that birth here
Even as my emotional muscle memory
Slams into gear
Cos I want it all now
CosI feel it all near

I ache for her
But if I can’t have her all
Then I want nothing…
I want nothing…
Nothing at all

Some don’t have this need
Themselves to open up
To feel what they feel
Or to ache for a woman’s love
I want her joy
I want her heart,body and soul
I want to kiss her gently
I want to see her grow

Of course I worry sometimes
That I’ve got some fault inside
Am I emotionally healthy?
Or am I wounded, raw and wide?
Do I attract vulnerability?
That hides such a strong will?
First, there’s love and then there’s passion?
But then, wounds that grow and kill?

Oh I ache for her
But if I can’t have her all
Then I want nothing…
I want nothing…
Nothing at all

I want a gourmet meal
And not some fast food joint
I don’t need some transaction
I just don’t see the point