Thus I Wrote

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Posts Tagged ‘dreams

The Mansions of the Dead

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Mansions of the Dead 1932 by Paul Nash 1889-1946

I awoke and rose above
The detritus of the night
Half-remembered dreams
In the anxious half-light
I heard silent whispers
In the candlelight as they fed
I saw the forgotten many
In the mansions of the dead

I watched her as she talked
I saw her emotions flicker
I thought and wondered why?
Do her angels and demons bicker?
I see a cloud of sadness float by
I wondered what does it teach?
What hand is on her shoulder?
And from where does it reach?

In the night I feel her
Breathing love and affection
Her legs curl around mine
Does she seek my protection
My prayers rise like incense
Quietly above her head
As she searches for the answers
In the mansions of the dead

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Written by thus.i.wrote

January 18, 2017 at 1:27 pm

In Berlin

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brandenberg-gate-bw

There was snow on the ground
Blue sky and sun all around
Was that the reason my blood was so thin?
I drank from the cup
Before I tried to get up
Why did I feel so exhausted there in Berlin?

They smoked outside in the snow
Then into cool music they go
They could hide cos the light was so dim
They kissed and caressed
She moaned and she pressed
There was a decadence there in Berlin

They gave, it seemed a lot
Fruit’s always juicy before the rot
I finished the song Ruthless to sing
The buildings big and clear
It was all a bit functional and austere
I’d a lot of mixed feelings there in Berlin

Beneath the cathedral dome
In high renaissance like Rome
The organ could let God hear us sing
Outside in the snow
Past blue stars I go
I found some peace and beauty there in Berlin

I dreamt of Lana del Rey
How I became her prey
Her vulnerability hid her desire to win
But though I know about love
Signified by that dove
I shivered with the cold there in Berlin

I lit two candles to show
That love can grow
And that closed games are such a sin
I offered up two prayers
A symbol of how much I care
Such warmth was needed there in Berlin

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 8, 2017 at 3:47 pm

Barriers

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bergman-cooper-saratoga_opt

We hide behind barriers
To protect ourselves from harm.
Sometimes I wonder if we act
Too quickly to the first alarm
Grace under pressure
I find it so hard to do
Did I act too rashly
I really tried to enjoy you

Another broke down today
Why now, not years ago?
She hid behind a wall of anger
What was behind I did not know
Did that wall serve her well
Or isolate her from the world and me
Only she will know if it served her
Well or ineffectively

I find that barriers often cause,
More barriers to be raised
Or we lower and raise them,
Out of sync instead of phased
We advance and then retreat,
Hurt with every misread signal-bruise
Alone, of course we’re free
But alone we often lose

In the end we’re together
Because we can’t bear to be apart
If we can’t break down barriers
Then we can’t connect our hearts
Maybe we’re not attracted enough
Maybe the chemistry isn’t there
In the end to make it work
We need to really care

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 12, 2016 at 9:15 am

Flow

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kiefer-renowned-orders-of-the-night

I’m not that pragmatic
I often swim against the flow
Others just float on by
“It’ll all be fine”, they know

I worry about lies
I worry about universal things
They only worry about themselves
What each decision will bring

I’m not right, they’re not wrong
But these are barriers in between
I wish I could just remove them
But I want my beauty it seems

I walk over my beloved bridge
I breathe the air of the river
The sun will warm me tomorrow
Even as today I walk and shiver

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 9, 2016 at 3:27 pm

Black Dog

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High Fidelity B&W

I thought this wouldn’t rhyme
Cos what I say ain’t so pretty
I try to be open and honest
And accept the truth about me
I’ve had good times in my life
And I’ve had my share of luck
I remember your honesty last night
You called me a lost, stuck, fuck

From the open dopamine dream
To the wary cool reality
From all the perfect imaginings
To the differences we could see
And the ghosts of your past
Strewn, growling, around me
To push me away from you
From what I wanted it to be

Was your gaze just too strong?
Or too much wariness in you?
Were you just too controlled?
Or no passion for me in you?
My head gave wise counsel
I listened to my heart more
To the contract we wrote online
And our horse so nearly born

I tried time and time again
But I wasn’t keeping score
Who owned these barriers?
I did not know anymore
Did I even know what I was doing?
Was I trying to fix what was wrong?
Was something broken and disconnected?
Did Brexit and your art just not belong?

Is that a black dog growling?
Some dark guardian over you?
In the still, grey, wet, Winter’s day?
With dead leaves stuck like glue?
The water leaked from the vase
Of flowers that I gave you
My champagne lay unopened
Forgotten and unloved too

This now requires some reset
To go right back near the start
We found we know each other
Painfully, only in some parts
We don’t love each other yet
But we could still be the one
I grieve for that lost dream
And for all that’s suddenly gone

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 8, 2016 at 9:33 pm

Wild Horses

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frida-diego-bw

I held your hand, as you grabbed mine
Our fearful hearts, ready to intertwine
And we rode a horse, fast and wild
We held on as the sun, rose and smiled

Sometimes the film, ain’t as good as the book
And long distance, just can’t beat a good look
Or the touch of your hand, as the trees fly by
Or the kiss on your neck, as you heave a sigh

Trust is still, a multilayered thing
As brick on brick, we patiently bring
We open to each other, tongues brush lips
We move in motion, the horse, our hips

There then came a time, of rain and storm
You face so worried, and your body so worn
We finally fell, with both or none to blame
Different lives now, our quest remains

Written by thus.i.wrote

November 22, 2016 at 3:08 pm

Fissure and Split

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kahlo-skull-bw

There’s a fissure and a split,
In the armour that I’ve built,
That makes me so restless now.
In the recesses of my mind,
Where fear scurries blind,
And darkness rises somehow.

There’s a tightness in my gut,
Of time racing and things ending, but,
I’ve a longing for forbidden things.
I hear the inexorable journey’s hiss,
To the darkness of the abyss,
And the sound while the banshee sings.

To that which I had completed,
To that which I had defeated,
And that which I must rise above now.
The cacophony of rejection,
As loneliness and non-acceptance,
Irrelevance and uselessness row.

I wrestle in my dreams now,
A dark demon that stalks and howls,
Suddenly stripped of my armour’s power.
I’m suddenly falling from on high,
Fearing multiple goodbyes,
Before hellos have finished their hour.

And yet I’m brave so I must rise,
To look my fears in the eyes,
And because I’m blessed to be alive.
I will stand and fight,
For love and the right,
To hold someone’s hand and smile.

Written by thus.i.wrote

November 22, 2016 at 9:26 am