Thus I Wrote

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Posts Tagged ‘fear

Fissure and Split

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There’s a fissure and a split,
In the armour that I’ve built,
That makes me so restless now.
In the recesses of my mind,
Where fear scurries blind,
And darkness rises somehow.

There’s a tightness in my gut,
Of time racing and things ending, but,
I’ve a longing for forbidden things.
I hear the inexorable journey’s hiss,
To the darkness of the abyss,
And the sound while the banshee sings.

To that which I had completed,
To that which I had defeated,
And that which I must rise above now.
The cacophony of rejection,
As loneliness and non-acceptance,
Irrelevance and uselessness row.

I wrestle in my dreams now,
A dark demon that stalks and howls,
Suddenly stripped of my armour’s power.
I’m suddenly falling from on high,
Fearing multiple goodbyes,
Before hellos have finished their hour.

And yet I’m brave so I must rise,
To look my fears in the eyes,
And because I’m blessed to be alive.
I will stand and fight,
For love and the right,
To hold someone’s hand and smile.

Written by thus.i.wrote

November 22, 2016 at 9:26 am


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Nick Cave

I did not always manage
To stop the damage
That my impatience had spread
My fears rushed on
I know it was wrong
And our love ruptured and bled

Like a finely tuned machine
I was good for a scene
But then something broke inside
I did not manage my fears
Oh, they cost me dear
But I’ve learned a lot on the ride

I’m glad I was kind to you
That I was steadfast and true
Cos this will stand the test of time
And it’s never too late
To grow and change our fate
To change some parts of our mind

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 11, 2016 at 9:21 am

My World

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I was born naked
Naked in a frightening world
A world without obvious meaning
A world insecure
A world with no direction
A world of swirling forms
A world of noise and uncertainty

And so I built a house
To make sense of the world
And it became my world
With pillars strong
And I found others
Who shared my world
And together we built a city
To protect us
To give us meaning
To protect us from storms

But one day a big storm came
That knocked a pillar of my house down
That rocked my world
That separated me from the others
That forced me to look at the truth
To look at the darkness beyond my house
To look at the darkness beyond my city
And I saw death
I saw no obvious meaning
I saw I was alone
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of my freedom
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of finding my own way

For a while I went mad
And I sought distraction
In drink, in sex, in recreation
But, over time, came acceptance
Over time,  I found my new niche
Over time, I found a way to compete and serve
Over time, I built a new house
In a new city
With bigger windows
Over time, I let more light in.

Written by thus.i.wrote

August 4, 2016 at 9:03 am

The Centre can’t Hold

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Things Fall Apart

The giant heavy wheel turns slowly
And I smell fear in the air
And many must make decisions
With no sage to guide them there

The cycle of birth and growth
Is relentless, ruthless and blind
Evolution asks many questions
I can’t answer in my small mind

They’re complacent and blind to change
They pushed too hard and too fast
They allowed the weeds to grow
And now they choke the flowers at last

It’s 100 years, that’s a century
Since the world fell apart
There’s a feeling of something similar
And there’s a feeling of a start

Change is in the nature of things
I cannot control how things unfold
I feel things fall apart again
I feel the centre can’t hold

Written by thus.i.wrote

June 2, 2016 at 10:16 am

My Reflection

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My Reflection

I asked if my Martini
Was shaken or slowly stirred
I tried understanding Pollock
And his views, of the world
In an apartment in Wall street
I waited for her, to allow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

I held on to her
Like a crucifix of gold
But I held on too tight
Or so a sage, later told
On the stage I was anxious
For my turn, to take a bow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

And I had this baggage
That I dragged behind
In a battered suitcase
That’s common enough, to find
But the skin, it was too thin
I felt uncomfortable, somehow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

I was a little man
They said I was distant and mean
I was not honest enough
And my motives, were not clean
These seeds of change they buried
With the tip, of their plough
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

We said many things
That can never be unsaid
And who will forgive us now,
For all the mistakes, we’ve made?
I’ve prayed for some cool hand
To stroke, my fevered brow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

Written by thus.i.wrote

March 15, 2015 at 6:12 pm

My Vampire Fears

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I have fears
They are vampires
In the dark of my mind
But they shrivel
In the light
That is what I find

Can you call?
My vampires out?
With promises of love today?
If you ignore me
They will just grow
Despite what I say

So hold my hand
And let me in
To be a part of you
Listen to me
Please accept me
And all of my faults too

Oh Love
You are the balm
You’re the saviour of my soul
You bathe me
You soothe me
And you make me whole

Written by thus.i.wrote

February 25, 2015 at 5:23 pm

Fear, the Dark Demon

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Fears grow in the dark
Buried and out of sight
But they will shrivel
When brought into the light

Fears are part of us
To make us more effective
If we let them drain us
They’ll make us more defective

Fears may be demons
To possess our minds
But love will cast them out
To leave clarity behind

Written by thus.i.wrote

February 3, 2015 at 8:50 pm