Thus I Wrote

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Posts Tagged ‘hurt

Black Dog

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High Fidelity B&W

I thought this wouldn’t rhyme
Cos what I say ain’t so pretty
I try to be open and honest
And accept the truth about me
I’ve had good times in my life
And I’ve had my share of luck
I remember your honesty last night
You called me a lost, stuck, fuck

From the open dopamine dream
To the wary cool reality
From all the perfect imaginings
To the differences we could see
And the ghosts of your past
Strewn, growling, around me
To push me away from you
From what I wanted it to be

Was your gaze just too strong?
Or too much wariness in you?
Were you just too controlled?
Or no passion for me in you?
My head gave wise counsel
I listened to my heart more
To the contract we wrote online
And our horse so nearly born

I tried time and time again
But I wasn’t keeping score
Who owned these barriers?
I did not know anymore
Did I even know what I was doing?
Was I trying to fix what was wrong?
Was something broken and disconnected?
Did Brexit and your art just not belong?

Is that a black dog growling?
Some dark guardian over you?
In the still, grey, wet, Winter’s day?
With dead leaves stuck like glue?
The water leaked from the vase
Of flowers that I gave you
My champagne lay unopened
Forgotten and unloved too

This now requires some reset
To go right back near the start
We found we know each other
Painfully, only in some parts
We don’t love each other yet
But we could still be the one
I grieve for that lost dream
And for all that’s suddenly gone

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 8, 2016 at 9:33 pm

Guerilla Love

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I know 1-1

I try to love you but I am repulsed
I feel rejected as I have for so long
I’m on the wrong page and now I’m feeling my age
I just keep on getting it wrong

The scales they tip in my weighing mind
But they’ve tipped your way for too long
I’ve given ’til it hurts and now it hurts too much
I just keep on getting it wrong

I’ve built the boundaries that make me
They protect me in the throng
I’ve moved them on, ’til a part of me feels gone
I just keep on getting it wrong

I know perception is your reality
And my caricature is so strong
I need a new brand and to deal a new hand
I just keep on getting it wrong

Now every morning I knock on doors
Cos to live I need to belong
For my learning heart, it’s the hardest part
I just keep on getting it wrong

The sun shines down on last night’s frost
And in the quiet I hear a bird’s song
I think of Spring and the changes I’ll ring
Cos I just keep on getting it wrong

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 11, 2015 at 1:25 pm

Posted in Poems, Poetry

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The Mourning Bride

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Lykke LI

Nothing else exists now, even death is spurned
My raging silent storm will scorch and burn
Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned
Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorned.

The promises we made as we faced each other
I offered my beauty and my body to you
Our lives we joined as we faced each other
I offered to cherish and to love you

Ah. . . Look at me now, 14 years together
All that time gone, my beauty wasted on you
Ah. . . Look at me now, 14 years together
All that time gone, my love wasted on you

Oh the grief. . .my loneliness learned
Oh the grief. . .my stomach churned
Heaven has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turned
Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorned.

Why?. . . did I not love you enough?
Why?. . . did I not cherish you enough?
Why?. . . did I not provide enough?
Why?. . . was I not exciting enough?

Ah. . . Look at me now, 14 years together
All that time gone, my beauty wasted on you
Ah. . . Look at me now, 14 years together
All that time gone, my love wasted on you

Oh the anguish. . . my life has turned
Oh the anguish. . . my future spurned
Heaven has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turned
Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorned.

No justice for the death of love in this affair
For the death of confidence, no it’s all not fair
What God had joined now wrenched apart and left bare
With a world cold and silent without care

Oh. . . Look at me now, 14 years together
All that time gone, my beauty wasted on you
Oh. . . Look at me now, 14 years together
All that time gone, my love wasted on you

Written by thus.i.wrote

October 9, 2015 at 6:36 pm

Slipping Through my Fingers 2

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slipping-through-my-fingers

Sleep, it would not come
In our yesterday’s room
I rocked myself ’till numb
To dispel my growing gloom
I thought, we are older now
But her beauty it still lingers
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

Has she moved on
Past the point of no return?
I feel discarded and lonely
Frozen, as her memory burns
Phantom suitors hurt me
With the flowers they bring her
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

She’s riding a pale horse
Of resentment and emotion
She’s deaf to my words
Impervious to my devotion
I wish I could hear her sigh again
As I make her nerve ends tingle
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

I let our problems be
I was hoping for the second act
But she would not forgive me
And her love began to crack
Her heart it hardened
From the love she said I didn’t bring her
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 17, 2014 at 10:02 am

The Well

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Well

I loved your beauty
I loved your smile
I loved your heart
I loved your style
But you have a well
That needs filling up
I guess my heart
Just wasn’t big enough

I loved your humour
I loved your spirit
I loved your cooking
And the love you put in it
But you have a well
That needs filling up
I guess my heart
Just wasn’t big enough

I loved the events
That you loved to put on
I loved your good nature
And courage you call on
But you have a well
That needs filling up
I guess my heart
Just wasn’t big enough

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 18, 2013 at 12:25 pm

Giving and Taking

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the-conversation-piotr-antonow b&w

I think about giving and taking
And that which I have forsaken
In the past I gave in hope
To fertilise a union needing growth
Today I find I’m in deficit
With my happiness a forfeit
I gave too much without a deal
And for too long did I kneel
Too much hope and too little vision
So now I have less after division
Maybe it would’ve been more brave to say no
Maybe it would’ve been better earlier to go
Maybe I should’ve never given a ring
But they say that hindsight’s a wonderful thing

I stayed and hoped for better days
Finding now the bitter parting ways
But I did raise a child fully grown
And I gave her family a loving home
Now all is lost under blame in time
And lonely scapegoat sorrow is mine
For long I could glimpse this fate
And I worked hard to avoid this date
But like gravity I fell from grace
Into this dark and loveless place
So now I process it all in rhyme
To help me heal and love in time

Written by thus.i.wrote

August 8, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Something’s Broken

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broken-vase-vladimir-kezerashvili

Something’s fallen
Something’s broken
Many careless words
I wish were never spoken

Not enough love left
To pick up all the parts
Avoiding the many falls
Appears the required art

A love like the sun
Would banish fear
Would shine a light
To make the precious clear

Written by thus.i.wrote

April 2, 2013 at 1:29 pm

Posted in Poems, Poetry

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