Posts Tagged ‘life’
Sun Rise
On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
Magnified
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride
In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise
Free V2
I have some money
It serves some needs
But it won’t, set, me free
I dream of the future
I still have some fears
I still have some chains, that pull, at meI can’t change much
But I can change me
And I can’t do much
But I, can, be freeI built a house
I wanted to feel safe
It’s what the world, sees, of me
Now I’m opening my doors
I wanna let some light in
And maybe I’ll see, more, clearlyI can’t change much
But I can change me
And I can’t do much
But I, can, be free
Now and Then
Now and then
I slow down…
I feel the earth turn,
Our planet sighSun on my face
Birds sing
Breeze in the trees
Then a butterflySoulful music
I breathe…
In the moment
I escape outside
To Those Who Live Now
To those who have accepted their fate
To those who live with grace
To those who do not follow
But take their own pathTo those who live now
To those who laugh long
To those who love all
May they incur no wrath
Hero
I hear the word hero
I think nobility
Some great achievement
And courage I seeBut is hero a tool
Within the culture we grow
To reap from others
More than we sowDo heroes give to others
More than they receive?
While such a calculation
Is bad most believe.So is a medal and praise
Reward enough?
While others live it well
And heroes live it roughIn our selfish culture
Surely all will soon see
To be a hero for others
Could be a mug for me
A New Beginning of Sorts
At 61 I chose to live on the top floor of a big house on the top of a hill with a view of Alexandra Palace and the Sky. There was no lift and three flights of stairs from the street to the top floor.
I could walk to my partner’s flat down the hill to the left and to Crouch End village down the hill to the right, both within 10 mins.
Following my illness I had gambled on my health being good for at least 10 years into the future. I had chosen to position myself ready for the next challenge. I had chosen to reinvent myself. The future was uncertain with only the ultimate end clear. My recent past was turbulent.
I chose a base that did not require too much work. However, while it had much that was new, there was still much to do. It took more time and effort than I had anticipated. It would take a while before I would feel safe. Before I would consider it home.
Non Serviam
“Nobody gives it to ya,
Ya gotta take it”
That’s the ‘law’
That’s how you make itAnd they took too much
With cruelty and the gun
Then with inheritance
And with organisationI had no monopoly
Or old money to fire
I’d only innovation
And a work ethic for hire
Inexorably
I know it’s in the distance
Where the earth meets the sky
Sometimes I glimpse it
In the corner of my eyeAnd so I distract myself
With everyday things
With learning & entertainment
With words and with stringsStill, inexorably I’m pulled
Into the wilderness
To the twisted shapes moving
I see the twilight confessAnd yet on the journey
When I hold your hand
Something somehow changes
I feel a meaning I understand
Remember to Breathe
Life is unknowable
Like a Zen Garden grows
Life is unknowable
It comes, and it goes
The Way’s much more
Than the End achieves
I know the Cherry Blossom
It flowers, and then leavesI must remember
I must remember to breathe.
I must remember
I must remember to breathe
To avoid those, who will deceive
To work on, what I believe
To give more, than I receive
And remember, remember to breathe
I’d Nearly Died
I was slowing down
I slept at wrong times
I forgot many things
I forgot my lines
And then I awoke
With you by my side
And a blinking blue light
…I’d nearly diedI remember being wet
They cut my pants off
I faded in and out
Many hours were lost
In my head was something
It was growing inside
My behaviour changed
…I’d nearly diedFrom friends and family
A love I didn’t expect
I ordered my affairs
For what might come next
I was glad to wake up
I shivered on the slide
I’d bled too much
…I’d nearly diedThen came steroids
Not much sleep at all
But very dark dreams
I passed out in a fall
The hospital staff
Helped as I tried
As I recovered slowly
…I’d nearly diedToo much to say
Too intense and raw
Over days and months
I struggled with it all
But you were there
You held me when I cried
As you struggled to cope
Cos I’d nearly died
