Thus I Wrote

You're never alone, if you've something to share

Posts Tagged ‘managing emotions

Sun Rise

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On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride

In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise

Written by thus.i.wrote

July 25, 2020 at 7:04 pm

Loco Man

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Nick Cave

Worries about trust
Are you seeing someone?
Rationally I said no
But instinctively I said run

I said I gotta go
You were stunned you began
But then you angrily said
You must be loco…man

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary

Worries about trust
Accusation and doubt
You got a problem now
You wanna change me about

Sometimes, I stumble
Sometimes, into the dark
Sometimes, I handle it
Sometimes, it leaves a mark

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 22, 2017 at 1:26 pm


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Today I’m putting
My armour back on
I’ve been in a battle
But I was dressed so wrong
I went in open
I went in kind
It’s been so long
It’d all left my mind

I got my sword now
I can keep’em at bay
I’ve been listening too much
Now I’m going to have my say
I’ve been wounded easily
I got some blood from the fight
I tried a few barks
Now I’ll try a few bites

My boundaries are too soft
I sent wrong signals out
I spoke in whispers
They just wanted to shout
They just pushed real hard
I allowed them in
But that’s not kindness
Letting them win

I will be assertive
I don’t need no aggression
I don’t need no sly jokes
Or any condescension
I will respect those
Who will respect me
But I will cut those
Who try to cut me

I’ve read signals wrong
I assumed too much subtlety
But now if it’s not clear
It will just miss me
When they want something
Then they must clearly ask
Cos reading signals wrong
Is too simple a task

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 26, 2016 at 8:13 pm

Toughen Up

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I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve
My gut is all wrenched up
I’m feeling all emotional
I just gotta toughen up

It ain’t what I need
It’s what I give will make the cut
I’ll stop leaking emotionally
I just gotta toughen up

I got some rejection
And that’s now stirring me up
It’s giving me some focus
I just gotta toughen up

Did I force the situation
Ask them drink too early from the cup?
I was not killed so I’ll be stronger
I just gotta toughen up

I’m brave enough to try
To keep on going when I’m beat up
I’m wounded but I’m still learning
I just gotta toughen up

Life is rejection
I’m not alone in feeling messed up
Life is trying
I just gotta toughen up

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 25, 2016 at 8:05 pm


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I don’t have peace now
Because I miss you
Or I miss the thought of you
The warmth of you

I don’t have peace now
Because something’s missing
I dream of kissing…
And of other things

I pull down the stars
To put them in your eyes
I dream of your smile
As I watch the sun rise
I dream of your voice
When I hear bird song
But, still, among the flowers
I feel something’s wrong

I don’t have peace now
Because I don’t have you
And I may never have you
As I may never know you
Are you a shimmering mirage?
Made of my hopeful schemes?
And all my yesterdays?
And all my dreams?

But just the thought of you
Just the chance of you
Just the glimpse of you
Fills me with desire
And I’m glad to be so alive again
Filled with desire

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 22, 2016 at 4:43 am

Moody Puss

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Lets Dance

Now then moody puss,
Have I’ve done something wrong?
I see you’ve got that frown again,
I see  you’ve got your face on.
I feel your silent disapproval,
I feel the tension of a trigger,
Behind angry words all ready,
To shoot me down with vigour.

We used to laugh and joke around,
And lighten up our day.
Maybe with a glass of wine,
And romantic interplay,
It’s hard to remember cuddles now,
On a day like today,
When you’re all argumentative,
No matter what I say.

Yeah, well I’m sorry,  I really am,
But work needed me late.
I’m no good at these arguments,
And you always win these debates,
That happen often and it hurts,
When you say that I don’t care.
Well, of course I do, I really do,
But… this is getting us nowhere.

Written by thus.i.wrote

November 29, 2015 at 8:47 pm

She Dances In My Fire

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She dances in my fire

In Austria, future-past forgotten
Above to down below
Crisp air, mountain views
Blue sky, white snow.
They circle up and down
Under beating sun they flow
They snake up and down
Swish and crunch they go

In Egypt, sun-sand and youth
Green leaves, blue sky
Light breeze on open sea
No time to ask why.
I dive to fly below
Over the dappled sea floor
With the fish, the coloured fish
To dance together once more.

Later, Cairo backstreets,
Noisy, sweaty humanity,
Spice-smell and cloth-swish,
In touch-close proximity.
I was going nowhere…,
In a sea of carriages
I was on my own…,
Between two marriages.

She moves through my flowers
She swims in my sea
She rides on my waves
She floats on my breeze
She wakes in my dreams
She moves in my shadows
She smiles in my party
She paints in my Picasso

In Greece, I saw her
I saw her ride the waves,
I saw her tame the wind
I felt the leap my heart gave.
I was drawn to her
On that sea of blue-green
I surfed out to meet her
To make fate intervene.

I floated to her
Something called my name
I was drawn to her
Like a moth to a flame.
We dived in for beauty
Over the dappled sea bed
We came up for air
And found each other instead.

The music played sirtaki
The wine set us free
The long tables hummed
With social cacophony.
Fleetingly, beauty was ours
In our hands, in our grasp
But quickly flow the sands of time
Deaf to what we ask.

She moves through my candles
She dances in my fire
She stares in my darkness
She sings in my choir
She runs in my forest
She bleeds in my moon
She drinks in my stream
She loves in my room

Written by thus.i.wrote

November 11, 2015 at 1:47 pm

My Reflection

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My Reflection

I asked if my Martini
Was shaken or slowly stirred
I tried understanding Pollock
And his views, of the world
In an apartment in Wall street
I waited for her, to allow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

I held on to her
Like a crucifix of gold
But I held on too tight
Or so a sage, later told
On the stage I was anxious
For my turn, to take a bow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

And I had this baggage
That I dragged behind
In a battered suitcase
That’s common enough, to find
But the skin, it was too thin
I felt uncomfortable, somehow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

I was a little man
They said I was distant and mean
I was not honest enough
And my motives, were not clean
These seeds of change they buried
With the tip, of their plough
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

We said many things
That can never be unsaid
And who will forgive us now,
For all the mistakes, we’ve made?
I’ve prayed for some cool hand
To stroke, my fevered brow
I used to worry much more then
I don’t worry, so much now

Written by thus.i.wrote

March 15, 2015 at 6:12 pm

Shall I Dance Again?

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Dare I eat a peach?
Dare I cut my hair?
Shall I buy a new suit?
Something fashionable to wear?

Shall I dance again?
Those musical steps
But shall I learn to tango?
Now more structure is best

Shall I travel again
To see new lands?
With whom shall I talk ?
With whom shall I plan?

I walk on the beach
With the tide coming in
I see the white waves
With the surfers jumping

Like a sirens song
Do they call to me?
To run and join them
With seaweed in the sea?

Written by thus.i.wrote

February 11, 2015 at 4:14 pm

Autumn Cross

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Your words explode in my head
And I freeze with pain…
My stomach’s in a knot
And I’m back here again

Like a knife on a taut rope
Back and forth until I fall
Into the lonely darkness
Surrounded by a dark wall

Such warmth and such joy
You offer on a good day
But on a dark day a knife
That makes me hurt & pay
That makes me lose myself
And my demons to recover
Who take my voice
Who launch and takeover..

Your every word an arrow
Shot true and sharp
Cut through my defence
And straight into my heart

I was slow and feeble
Against your rapier thrusts
Before I knew where I was
I was hooked on unjust
I had responded
In a battle I did not choose
And it was a battle
That I would always lose

You force a crisis
You ignore my pleas
You parry my defence
You thrust and seize
Your satisfaction prize
You see my wound bleed
You see me hurt silent
“Oh Stay… let me feed…”
You think “Its your fault
By all that you do,
I forget my pain
By inflicting it on you”.

And so I withdraw
To let my wounds heal
To analyse and to write
To process what I feel

Grey limestone celtic cross
Grey cold autumn day
Leafless trees sway
And crows fly away

Is this my only monument?
As this cold silence bleeds
Above where the worms breed?
Where the earth waits to feed?

Is there no love?
A transaction of give and take
No forgiveness for our sins
And so our hearts just break

Is this the autumn?
A foreboding of winter ahead
The life and colours of Summer
All now blown and fled.

Written by thus.i.wrote

February 7, 2015 at 8:57 pm