Thus I Wrote

You're never alone, if you've something to share

Posts Tagged ‘meaning

Sun Rise

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On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride

In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise

Written by thus.i.wrote

July 25, 2020 at 7:04 pm

Black Silk

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Never Too Dark To See

This human condition
In which we live
In which we know
This absurd condition

We watch ourselves grow
Live, love and decay
We hear echoes of eternity
In a dark universe of stars
We wonder, we cry out
For a father or mother
A creator to give us meaning
Someone to make us feel less alone

We push our boundaries
We compete for our space
We seek some control
For the world to remember us here
And so the river runs
Ever onward
And so the current pushes us
Ever onward

Now I’m alone at night
In the darkness
I feel the earth turn
Beneath me
I’m fading, fading into silk
Black silk

Written by thus.i.wrote

September 9, 2016 at 7:09 am

My World

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I was born naked
Naked in a frightening world
A world without obvious meaning
A world insecure
A world with no direction
A world of swirling forms
A world of noise and uncertainty

And so I built a house
To make sense of the world
And it became my world
With pillars strong
And I found others
Who shared my world
And together we built a city
To protect us
To give us meaning
To protect us from storms

But one day a big storm came
That knocked a pillar of my house down
That rocked my world
That separated me from the others
That forced me to look at the truth
To look at the darkness beyond my house
To look at the darkness beyond my city
And I saw death
I saw no obvious meaning
I saw I was alone
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of my freedom
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of finding my own way

For a while I went mad
And I sought distraction
In drink, in sex, in recreation
But, over time, came acceptance
Over time,  I found my new niche
Over time, I found a way to compete and serve
Over time, I built a new house
In a new city
With bigger windows
Over time, I let more light in.

Written by thus.i.wrote

August 4, 2016 at 9:03 am

The Grand Game

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You were out on the street with me
Full of passionate conviction
You made me realise then
That I’d let the darkness in
That I’d let ignorant intensity
Punch me in the heart
I worried the centre couldn’t hold
I worried things were falling apart

We try to make the future
Through the limits of our own haze
And it becomes our faith
And we push it in our tribal ways
But when I feel lonely
I need to hear you call my name
Then I ache for the things I love
In this grand game

And I feel so small
As I stare up at the stars
As I feel the sand shifting
Oh but I remember we’ve travelled, so far
And I really don’t mind losing
As long as the reason is sound
And we don’t lose the wisdom we’ve found
As this grand game, cycles round

Now when everything is slipping
And I feel the cold wind start to blow
I remember sometimes things fall apart
So better things may fall together and hold
Inequality shines through
Beneath the ignorance and the lies
But false promises won’t do us no no good
In this grand game

And I feel so small
As I stare up at the stars
As I feel the sand shifting
Oh but I remember, we’ve travelled so far
And I really don’t mind losing
As long as the reason is sound
And we don’t lose the wisdom we’ve found
As this grand game cycles round

Now it’s all fading away
We compete well as we must
But we’ve much more in common
Than that which divides us
There’s always room in the dark
As in between changes we’re drifting
To the light of the moon
Your lovely face I’m lifting

Image – Anselm Kiefer – The Renowned Orders of The Night – Guggenheim Bilbao.

Written by thus.i.wrote

July 20, 2016 at 11:17 am


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Get out of the lane
You’re moving too slow
It’s my turn now
And you’ve nowhere to go

What can you offer me?
What can you give?
How can you serve me?
With no purpose to live?

You’re just a jigsaw piece
Lost and swirling in space
Get out of the lane
You’re in the wrong place

Written by thus.i.wrote

June 2, 2016 at 11:12 am

Are You Free?

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Are You Free?

Are you free?

Are you free?
To make it on your own?
To be the author of your life?
Do you mind being alone?

Do you have chains?
Ones you cannot see?
Ones you cannot escape?
That connect you to me?

Are you free?
From tomorrow and yesterday?
And all the useless fears along the way?
And can you enjoy?
The love and the beauty?
That you move too fast to see?

Oh, do you feel unprepared?
For all the problems we share?
But life is come as you are?
Just feel the wind in your hair?

Oh, do the waves whisper and preach?
To you on a sun kissed beach?
Or maybe on a blue ocean caught?
With the sails blowing taut?

Are you free?
To make your life a masterpiece?
To make your life’s purpose clear?
By creating and giving?
By being selfless and sincere?

Are you free?
Have you spat in their eye?
Have you stared them down?
Have you said goodbye?
To all those heavy things?
That stifle and weigh you down?
That bleed you like vampires?
’Til you sink and drown?
Have you fought off the darkness?
Have you come into the light?
Are you now free to be?
The best that you can be?

Are you free?

Written by thus.i.wrote

May 25, 2016 at 1:08 pm

Trying to Connect – v2 (&Song)

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coffee-bar B&W

I walk down the pavement
And I sit down inside
I get a hot coffee and a warm croissant
And then I start swimming against the tide

I’m reaching out
I’m trying to connect
I don’t know what’s next
I’m trying to connect

Aah…This is me now

It’s a new day
And the sun is streaming hot
I forget the story in the stars
Cos nobody knows the plot
I was raised on a promise
It was whispered in the wind
It said “Give all you’ve got
And nobody can say that you’ve sinned”

I’m reaching out
I’m trying to connect

I don’t need to be rescued
I just need you to be there
I’m reaching out for something
Something we can share
But there’s too much noise, You can’t hear me
And there’s a haze, So we can’t see
I’m still outside, Your comfort zone
And when you don’t understand, I feel more alone

I’m reaching out
I don’t know what’s next
I’m reaching out
I’m trying to connect

Aah…This is me now

I created a song from the original poem and changed it in the process as often happens and so have republished it here.
Please listen to the song…I would love any comments.

The Genealogy of Morals

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We build on the past
We turn commandments into laws
We build organisation and process
To protect rights and give cause

What’s wrong and what’s right
Is no absolute thing
Because we grow and evolve
And reflect what change will bring

What’s wrong and what’s right
Is guided by what’s effective
In achieving the best for you
And the best for the collective

We all bow to the collective
To the secular unseen hand
To the arbiter of who’s effective
Of who falls and who stands

Written by thus.i.wrote

April 25, 2016 at 10:41 am

I’m not My Shoes

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02 Joe Jackson - 1978 - Original photo

I had lost sight
Of where I ended and others began
I had stretched my personal boundaries
Way too far for an effective man
My core was now too vulnerable
I felt subject to mortal attack
I felt too much for my survival
I was way too defensive as I fought back.

So mild criticism was then shot down
With angry verbal assault
As if my core being was under threat
And I felt it was always their fault
I needed to differentiate
Between my core and other things
Like people, attributes and activities
Despite all the value that they bring.

Because in my core being
I’m not my team or the work I choose
I’m not my friends, family or country
My mantra now is “I’m not my shoes”

Written by thus.i.wrote

April 23, 2016 at 11:00 am

The Man who sought Grace

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burning bush b&w

1. Creation

After wandering many days and nights
I found myself on a desert hill
I saw a bush begin to burn
And I heard a voice quiet and still

“The solemnity and grandeur of the universe
Refusing the deadening influence of conformity
Rose through a process of unification
Through the dark quiet of time’s enormity

To every wonder-bright plain and the turning seas
And with all the diversities of existence utilised
And so nothing, nothing is lost
‘Til time, stardust and circumstance improvised

Then from the darkness, something grew
And mankind evolved to where you now be
A brief glorious pulsation
In the black hole of eternity.”

2. The grim knowledge of Reality

I was led to a beautiful garden
To a tree with forbidden fruit
When I was ready I was persuaded to eat
And a new grim knowledge took root

In a vision I see an abyss of reality
Where we’re ultimately Alone
And things fade, like love to loss
And Death’s inevitable I’m shown
We’ve no obvious Meaning
Or no sense to our lives
We’ve Freedom and the duty to make
What we will of our lives
With alternatives excluded we choose
One path with fear and invention.
But the wise, within these grim truths,
Find the seeds of wisdom and redemption.

3. The soft gauze of Illusion

I cried, “This bare knowledge fills me with anxiety
I need certainty, I need meaning
I don’t want to be alone or to die
Can you rescue me by intervening?”

The voice said: “I can offer the soft gauze of illusion
By which you can transform and deny
I offer magic and enchantment
I offer pipe dreams and vital lies
Follow the siren call of illusion
The sense of safety it affords
Use self deception as a shield
And use distraction as a sword
You will be comforted by beliefs
Of your ultimate rescuer and you’re unique
Illusions that cheer and comfort
But ultimately may not deliver what you seek
Because knowing is better than not knowing
And venturing better than not
Illusions may be alluring and effective
But may isolate and stunt the growth you’ve got
You can take a leap of irrational faith
Into a great shared delusion
Religion can comfort but beware
It may create more problems than solutions.”

“I will wrap myself in illusion
And I will get busy with my life
There is too much to do and to enjoy
To worry too much about truth and strife”

“Yes, many do, but, sooner or later,
You must face the truths of existence
Your illusions may comfort you
But keep others at a distance
You may be isolated from a loved one
Because of their illusion as a defence
And it cannot be removed easily
Without replacing it with something else”

“So tell me of these truths of existence
And must I live a life free of illusion?
I think the world will appear very bare
And too much reality will mean exclusion”

“I will tell you later and you are free to choose
Be guided by what’s effective for you
Do not weaken your spirit by too much illusion
Remain aware and you’ll know what’s right for you”

4. The Truths of Existence

I search until later in the firelight
I meet a prophet with a bearded face
He said “don’t hide in delusion or illusion
Seek the truth and live in grace
Have no fear and seek always to confront
The truths of your existence
Harness their power for growth
And for change with persistence.”

4.1 You are ultimately Alone

“There is a gap between you
Even those you love have shown
This will never be fully bridged
Because you’re born and die alone.
The experiences of another
Are unyieldingly private and unknown
Though you try two by two or in groups
It still breaks through that you’re alone.”

“You may hide from isolation
You may create a false solution
And use another as a shield
To melt into an unnatural fusion.
Self awareness breeds anxiety
That with fusion you may lose
But also lose yourselves
So the wise wouldn’t choose.
Not enough relating,
And not enough care
Too much hiding
No self awareness there.
Now cut off from others
This relationship feeds upon itself
Neither giving to or caring about others
And finally caves-in on itself.”

“Healthy interpersonal relationships
Are rewarding and gratifying
And though caring and deeply human
They’re still mystifying
Though you’re ultimately alone
And you’re in our own boat
You still get much comfort
From the lights of those nearby afloat.”

4.2 There is no obvious Meaning

“You’re built this way
To seek meaning in things
So you ask questions
That no-one or nothing is answering.
All your accomplishments & your solar system
Will one day in its time
Suffer destruction and lie in ruins
With no apparent reason or rhyme.
But you seek meaning in the ruins
Of destruction and inevitable death
You seek order and pattern
Among random and un-patterned events
And in so doing try to gain
Some semblance of control
Because meaning is the fertile soil
From which values we grow
Then “Why do I live?” gives way
To How do I live?
And “Why do I give?” gives way
To “How do I give?”
For meaning is found obliquely
And ensues from meaningful activity
From engagement and commitment
And what you give with productivity.”

4.3 Death is inevitable

“At your core there is a conflict
Between the wish to continue to exist
And the awareness of inevitable death
Which you fight and rage to resist
And so you’re ingenious in your ways
To escape death or to deny
You challenge, detoxify and desensitise it
You distract yourselves from when or why
You transform it to something positive
You say you’re just passing on
Or try immortality through works or children
Or maybe through religion believe you live on
And though intellectually you may know
You may unconsciously deny
Because of overwhelming anxiety
You may not want to explore when or why.
You may choose a delusion
That you’re special and you’re unique
Or that you’ve an ultimate rescuer
Who will protect you awake and asleep
The fact of death will destroy you
For this is surely your fate
But the idea of death can save you
If accepted fully before it’s too late.”

4.4 Freedom is a right and a responsibility

“As a civilisation you yearn freedom
And to achieve it many sacrificed and died
You see freedom as your right
But there’s also a duty to which you’re tied
You’re responsible for your own choices
The author of your own life design
But you’re creatures who desire structure
Anxious when nothing will guide or align
And so often the outside world is blamed
For the problems you experience and face
You may believe that you’ve no power
And you’ve no responsibility to change & replace
But change starts with acceptance
For the choices that you’ve made
And then the will to choose and act
Despite feeling anxious and afraid
You may keep your options open
In anxious procrastination
But alternatives must be excluded
To reach your path’s foundation.”