Thus I Wrote

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Posts Tagged ‘Relationships

The Mansions of the Dead

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Mansions of the Dead 1932 by Paul Nash 1889-1946

I awoke and rose above
The detritus of the night
Half-remembered dreams
In the anxious half-light
I heard silent whispers
In the candlelight as they fed
I saw the forgotten many
In the mansions of the dead

I watched her as she talked
I saw her emotions flicker
I thought and wondered why?
Do her angels and demons bicker?
I see a cloud of sadness float by
I wondered what does it teach?
What hand is on her shoulder?
And from where does it reach?

In the night I feel her
Breathing love and affection
Her legs curl around mine
Does she seek my protection
My prayers rise like incense
Quietly above her head
As she searches for the answers
In the mansions of the dead

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 18, 2017 at 1:27 pm

Uneasy

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tunstall-kt

When you parted from me
I felt uneasy
Incomprehensibly
I felt uneasy

We’d connected tentatively
Then more deeply
All too briefly
More deeply

We rode wildly,
We fell differently
You and me
Differently

Have you taken from me?
All you needed from me?
Unquestionably
All you needed from me?

What do you think when you see?
Your memories?
Playing timelessly?
In your memories?

We’re moving on freely,
Moving on differently
You and me
Differently

Since you parted from me,
I’ve felt uneasy
Instinctively
I’ve felt uneasy

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 15, 2017 at 12:12 pm

No Words Left

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sad-germania-bw

I’ve no words left
After how we parted
I’m alone at sea
Trust’s now re-started

What now of my needs?
What now of yours?
The contract’s broken
Back knocking on doors

“Lovely, lovely memories”
Yes…you’re so right
They shine so bright
In this cold turkey night

Of course it’s my shit
I know it’s mine to manage
In this cold empty silence
I will limit the damage

We lived wild for a time
We trusted each other
In a brief oasis of time
We enjoyed each other

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 12, 2017 at 5:29 pm

Things Fade

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berlin-dome-dove-2

Alexanderplatz in the snow
Berlin Cathedral on show
Grey sky, Blue stars appear

Near Frankfurter Tor
Something began to stir
We drank beers and examined our years

I lost myself…I lost myself

We give so much
Now what’s left of us?
As we fit in and survive we said

Later we stared at that dome
And talked of our homes
And how our past pulls and things fade

I lost myself…I lost myself

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 11, 2017 at 12:26 pm

Two Candles in Berlin

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two-candles-in-berlin-2-bw

I lit two candles for Lana,
There, in snowy Berlin,
My prayers mingled with the smoke,
That rose in the quiet space therein.

I get impatient,
Trying to connect true,
When games get in the way,
Of what is beautiful in you.
I wanted you to be real,
I don’t like false layers,
But I know I asked too much,
So my patience was my prayer.

Lana, I think you’re unhappy
You know how to survive,
How to protect yourself,
And to economically thrive.
But love is much misunderstood,
Have you ever known real love?
One that nurtures and grows,
Signified by that dove?
You were an intelligent, sensitive child,
Lost in a big boisterous family,
In a rough, striving environment,
Who listened to you intently?
Did you grow too hard a shell?
To protect yourself in there?
I wonder at your loneliness
So your happiness was my prayer.

Ruthless

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ruthless-1-bw

I’m not that ruthless
I’m not as decisive as you
I worried that if I jumped
Your fall could hurt you
And I was trying to take stock
I was trying to understand
I was trying to hold on
Trying to hold your hand
I was trying to stay on
As we were thrown about
I was honest, I could’ve lied
In my confusion and my doubt

I’m not that cool
I’ll say I’ve been hurt by you
I’ll say I miss you
I’ll say I want to see you
There were too many questions
I could feel you slipping
Then we were falling
We could hear things ripping
I gave all I could
I really cared about you
But I knew this could end
With only hurt to hold on to

I ‘m not that confident
I can’t say it will be fine
No, I need to see much further
Right on down the line
I don’t close my eyes and jump
No, I look before I leap
And maybe he who hesitates is lost
But we gotta choose what we sow and reap
This is another defeat
But we have not lost
Let’s remember the dream
Let’s forget the cost

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 8, 2017 at 4:07 pm

In Berlin

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brandenberg-gate-bw

There was snow on the ground
Blue sky and sun all around
Was that the reason my blood was so thin?
I drank from the cup
Before I tried to get up
Why did I feel so exhausted there in Berlin?

They smoked outside in the snow
Then into cool music they go
They could hide cos the light was so dim
They kissed and caressed
She moaned and she pressed
There was a decadence there in Berlin

They gave, it seemed a lot
Fruit’s always juicy before the rot
I finished the song Ruthless to sing
The buildings big and clear
It was all a bit functional and austere
I’d a lot of mixed feelings there in Berlin

Beneath the cathedral dome
In high renaissance like Rome
The organ could let God hear us sing
Outside in the snow
Past blue stars I go
I found some peace and beauty there in Berlin

I dreamt of Lana del Rey
How I became her prey
Her vulnerability hid her desire to win
But though I know about love
Signified by that dove
I shivered with the cold there in Berlin

I lit two candles to show
That love can grow
And that closed games are such a sin
I offered up two prayers
A symbol of how much I care
Such warmth was needed there in Berlin

Written by thus.i.wrote

January 8, 2017 at 3:47 pm

It’s All Over Now

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frida-khalo-flowers-bw

You must go now, you must protect yourself
You can see a better future for you from the shelf
In your head, you had a dream of me
But I was nervous competing with someone I couldn’t see
“Don’t worry, we need no scripts”, you said, now didn’t you?
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

This pain is real and I ain’t made it up
I didn’t drink for a long time, but you held the cup
I never felt anything, quite like this before
When we met I was nervous, about what I wasn’t really sure
You held back, I tried to push on through
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

I wear my heart on my sleeve now, or so I’m told
I want it all, or nothing at all, it’s time to be bold
You seemed to get me, you said that we were twins
We gave and wanted love and to be the best at everything
We talked of plans and starting our lives anew
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

I forgot the lessons that you tried to teach me
You want loyalty and you want love, unconditionally
I know now you’ve set the bar way too high
And you ran when you saw that I would not comply
I would’ve liked one more chance to make our dream true
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

I remember all the messages that you sent to me
All those pictures and words seared in my memory
But now we’ve fallen, into a dark silent abyss
Was our deep connection so easy to dismiss?
But are all such questions now just wasted on you?
Ah, cos it’s all over now between me and you

 

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 26, 2016 at 10:56 am

Breathe

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10-diego-rivera-retrato-de-natasha-gelman-1030x787bw

You searched the world for me
And then you found me
And then you liked me
And then you showed me your heart
And then you called out to me
And then you invaded me
And butterflies arose in me
And our love affair did start

So…Breathe, Breathe and let it go
I’m down now on all fours
My head is on the floor

You rose up to meet me
You suddenly reached out for me
You  connected with me
Somewhere deep in the heart of me
That night you were so serene
That night you were a queen
That night you somehow fitted me
That night your words they captured me

So…Breathe, Breathe and let it go
I’m down now on all fours
My head is on the floor

I was falling into the sea
But then you caught me
You began to heal me
You began to love me
And then we were smiling
And then we were loving
And then we were living
But then we were dreaming

So…Breathe, Breathe and let it go
I’m down now on all fours
My head is on the floor

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 24, 2016 at 2:24 pm

The Lady in the Cloak

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red-riding-hood

We were weighing, the goods
When she fell there in, the woods
I think she misunderstood me, that last time we spoke
She took fright and, she ran
She’d no idea, or plan
But she felt more safe there, alone in her cloak

Did she see something, in me?
That she didn’t want, to see?
Or did she think all my feelings for her, were just smoke?
I wasn’t ready for, the ride
It knocked all my confidence, inside
When I felt her moving from me, the lady in the cloak

The emotions, we keep
They may be shallow, or deep
That’s why I needed to look at her, when she spoke
I knew her so well, I believed
But I think that I was, deceived
I’ve still much to learn about, the lady in the cloak

These days, I’m so open
Many soft words, I’ve spoken
They say I’m such an emotionally, intelligent bloke
But it’s such a balancing, act
Between honesty, and tact
And I forgot about it all, with the lady in the cloak

It’s a human, instinct
To self protect, I think
We use barriers to protect us, from other folk
And I kept, mine down
To save her from, falling down
But she couldn’t hold on, the lady in the cloak

I said I was never, addicted
But I couldn’t have, predicted
How those words would come, back to choke
Because now that, she’s gone
My world it feels, all wrong
Cos, I’m missing her, the lady in the cloak

I wait there, in the woods
I met her ghost, weighing the goods
I asked her to fix, what I hoped wasn’t too broke
Even though we’d lost, each other
I still hoped we’d find, each other
Cos, I still wanted her, the lady in the cloak

Written by thus.i.wrote

December 13, 2016 at 7:43 pm